I recently had the pleasure of attending a Women Of Faith conference in San Antonio. It was an AWESOME experience. There was worship music and Christian speakers. One of the speakers Marcus Buckingham, who really wasn't one of my favorites, but his message(or my interpretation of) has been in my head big time! So..when the hamsters run in their wheel I blog!
He talked about strengths and weakness a little bit differently than I'm used to thinking of them. He gave us a verse from Psalms 18:32, God gives me strength and makes my way perfect. He then went on to define strengths and weaknesses. Strength, as success where you feel effective. Things you delight in. He went on to give these explanations. A strength is something that makes you feel stronger after you complete the task. It energizes you. A weakness, on the other hand, is something that physically drains you- in other words, you may very well be good at a particular task or skill, yet when you complete it, it leaves you more tired than when you started."
So from this talk I'm gathering a whole other thought process. I started looking at everything around me. From my hubby, my children, my activities and friendships. All from the aspect of things I think negatively (draining to me) to things I think positively (delight in) about. I started thinking what if I CHOSE to be Strong, delight in and enjoy things instead of being weak, drained or depleted by things??!! What would happen.
With Bj...my sweet man....however...there are somethings he does that I want to grab him and SHAKE him till I feel better..lol! He loves to play as WILD and as RUFF as he can with the kids. If it is 8:30pm he has them in a LOUD tizzy in the hallway or in their bedrooms. Sometimes I can tolerate it, most times I'm a bit annoyed and wanting things to be quiet. The louder they get, the more annoyed I get. NOW...I'm thinking about this from a weak or draining perspective. What would happen if I turned it around and tried to view it as a strength..something I enjoy..or even as something I am thankful for?? I enjoy being the wife of a man who enjoys playing with our children. He could be an absent dad or a not now dad and that would really make me sad. So instead of shaking him, I go down the hall and hug him, love on him and tell him thank you for playing with our children and giving them time. I probably would go to bed less drained and less annoyed...MAYBE..WORTH A TRY!
Sweet Garrett and Emily...parenting these two can be AT TIMES a task I want to run from..lolol~ They are opinionated, demanding and disobedient at times. They are also loving, sweet and respectful at times. So..when times get tough, which will I think about? Which behavior will I concentrate the most on? If I focus on their endearing qualities, even when they are being not so dear. I just might be able to move past and help them move past certain behaviors. Motherhood can be a VERY draining task but it is VERY rewarding task also. So will I choose to view it as a strength or weakness???
My activities..the first thing that came to mind was housework and laundry! Why oh Why does our mind always float towards the weakness or the things that drain us? Instead of thinking about it as a negative thing, maybe Ill turn it around. Thank you God for the time to clean, for the house that I live in. We could be homeless with nothing to clean. Thank you for the laundry. It is signs of LIFE in my home. Thank you for the washing machine and the dryer. What if I was having to go to the laundry mat with two small kids. Makes the task more of a strength than a weakness.
Last but not least. Friendships or Relationships in general. We can delight in them or we can be drained by them. In this particular instance I feel the need to chose. I say this because in my opinion my hubby, children and housework are all things that have to be done. Friendships or other relationships outside of that are merely a choice. Now....I'm sure we all have those relationships that feel like Alaska....I'm talking about Alaska when its dark, cold and depressing...or...the hottest day of summer when you feel drained and thirsty and the nearest water fountain is a MILLION miles away! Then there are those relationships that feel like fall...when the leaves are falling all pretty, with many colors, the wind is blowing and you are sitting outside watching your babies run and no one needs to potty and everyone is getting along!!! I don't know about you but I tend to focus on the draining ones. I don't know why. I want to fix them. I want to make them enjoyable. I figure I was brought into it for a reason so its my job to FIX it. All the while my fall beautiful day relationships are tended too but not as much. Why????? My papa used to tell me..Kia, do what you love and love what you do! So..I'm CHOOSING to focus on my beautiful fall day relationships and leave the hot, draining and dark ones to figure themselves out! It makes me happier in the end and is so much better for me!
Now..can we walk around basking in out strength, living in our effectiveness all the time...NO! Life was never promised to be easy. We have to address and deal with weakness sometimes. However for me and my house..we are choosing Yummies (how we describe good, healthy, happy things and strengths to Garrett and Emily) and leaving the Yuckies (sad and sometimes stressful) to consume less of our time. You have to CHOOSE to be fulfilled and positive. I feel like if I can choose it enough...IT JUST MIGHT START CHOOSING ME!!!